Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Challenge Day 2

I kind of cheated you all out a recent pic. I took this one today. You can really tell my weight loss in my face!! :)

Well, I was apparently sleep deprived, distracted, (insert any other mom adjective here) yesterday and thought day 2 was about my first love. Ha, I know its not because I am excited to talk about it...promise my Love! :)

So today is meaning behind my blog name. Waiting on Our Miracle. Pretty self-explanatory, right? I am so original.

We tried for Keyser for exactly 17 months. A long freaking time. I call Keyser our miracle because we lost 2 babies before him, and we honestly were beginning to lose hope that he would ever come to us. He did, and for that, he is our miracle.

We started trying to have a baby in September 2007. Newlyweds for only 4 months, we never knew the struggles that were going to be placed before us. First month...I got pregnant with angel #1. Over the moon excitment was hindered by daily pain and constant spotting. I crossed my fingers every time I went to the bathroom hoping not to see blood. Every time, I was disappointed. "A lot of people spot", "Pregnancy is uncomfortable", "The heartbeat sounds great!". Reassuring words from our doctors was all that I was carrying with me. I knew I would lose the baby, it was just a matter of time. My body finally allowed my baby to go to heaven In November 2007 at just 10 weeks along. D&C followed, along with heartbreak and lost hope.

Fast forward to 7 months later, when right after our 2nd anniversary I found out we were pregnant again! It took us 6 months to conceive this time, but who cares...this one was going to stick around! I made sure I did everything heavy lifting, no caffiene, or even lunchmeat (yeah I was that lady), and I felt great. On Father's Day 2008, I began to have the tell tale cramps. "People do cramp while pregnant, its the uterus stretching" was what I got from the doc. Go in the next day for an U/S and saw our perfect little one on the screen. Heartbeat and all. I gained a little more hope and continued my day. Little did I know this was the last happiness for a while. The next day, while at work, I started to miscarry. This happens to only about 5 % of people who miscarry the first time. Bad luck I guess. We lost angel #2 on a Tuesday in June, at only 7 weeks along. My hopes and dreams of becoming a mother were waning. I had little hope that I would ever be able to hold onto a pregnancy. Again, a D&C followed, along with the mandatory healing time (mentally and physically), and we started trying again in October 2008.

My husband and I went through a lot, if you can imagine, during this time. We got in horrible fights, I said very hurtful things, and we wondered if all of our dreams would never be realized. All we wanted was a baby. Not to fix out relationship, because that was never the issue...but to make us a family...all we ever wanted.

Then one day in late february, the best day of our lives happened. We were pregnant! This time, I had a lot of doctors on my side. It took hormones and baby aspirin to make Keyser a reality. I knew this was going to work. A calm came over me when I found out I was having a baby. Like someone placed their hands on my shoulders and told me this was going to be okay. And it was. Keyser is our little miracle, the boy who made us a family. He is our world, and we will always be thankful (if thats the word) for the journey that led us to him. We grew up a lot during that time, and it may not have been pleasant, but we definitely don't take that time or him for granted.

Whew, sorry for that. It was kind of therapeutic to get it all out! Thats my story...its why I started this blog and its why we call our monster our miracle.

See ya tomorrow!


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