Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Monday, November 24, 2008

Eerie vibe and Superstitions

I have to say I am excited about TTC again. It is fun to look forward to something every month and get a little giddy even if it doesn't work out.

With that being said...I have this really eerie, completely relaxed vibe about me. Its like a "whatever happens will happen" thing. I can honestly say this has not happened to me once since starting TTC. Since cycle one I have been a crazy lady, timing sex, over analyzing symptoms, religiously checking CM in random bathrooms ;)

But this time around, I am cool as a cucumber. DH went out with the boys on Saturday and had a little too much fun, and so he was sleepy last night. When I came home to find him asleep, I was okay with letting him sleep even though it was a "sex" night. He actually ended up waking up, but even if he didn't, I would have been okay with it. I used to be the pouty wife that would moan until he gave in, but this time I was content to let him sleep. That's weird.

So this is where I get all psychological on myself. I really and truly believe the reason this is happening is because I don't want to get my hopes up just to get them dashed. I was so excited last month when we decided that this month would be "The Month". Now, I honestly think my brain and body both are preventing me from heartbreak. I am almost okay with the fact that this could take a while. Its crazy that I am not crazy :) I mean, don't get me wrong, I am really excited, but I guess since it has been about 15 months since we started this journey, I am okay now with not rushing it and letting it happen. Also, I want my next pregnancy to be as stress free as possible and I think that my body is finally on the same page as my brain. They are finally working together...yay!

On a side note, I am a dork and I admit it. I believe in lucky pennies, wishing at 11:11, and the such. The other day I was driving home late from work and I saw a shooting star. I made a wish that God would give us a healthy baby this month. Last night, DH and I bought some scratch off lottery tickets. We got 5 of them, and I had to go into work, so DH scratched off 4 of them and left one for me to do (he always has better luck than me, so I always want him to scratch them off...but I think they are fun so I always do one. We have a bit of a obsession :) Anyway, DH wakes up, we do our "thing", and I go to scratch off my lottery ticket (so romantic I know ;) Well, DH had scratched off all losers, so I yelled jokingly to him that if I scratched off a winner, maybe tonight will be our lucky night. I scratched off 4 out of 5 sections, and thought I lost, until the last one revealed a little reindeer with a $1 prize! Now, I know a buck is not that big of a deal, but to the forever believer of fairy tales, I got a little, don't dash my hopes yet fate...I like believing in this stuff, okay? :) Lets hope this month is as lucky as it can be!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The day is finally here!

Okay first off, I saw this pic of my crazy DH and literally LOL. He looks crazy and my poor doggy looks so scared. Thanks for the laugh love (he did this while I was at work....dork!)
Well, okay so its probably going to be tomorrow, but whatever ;)

We are now, officially, really, trying to have a baby again!! Woot!

Can I start by saying how incredibly freaked out I am. I mean, unfortunately I am not in a situation where I think that my miscarriages were flukes. There is really something wrong with my uterus that just doesn't like a baby. Its selfish like that. (okay so not something for me to be joking about I know ;) But, surprisingly enough, I am so optimistic! My OB is AMAZING, so that helps and she has a "gameplan" so whenever I get my +test, she told me to call her, day or night, and we would start up on my meds to help this baby stick around for, oh, about 40 weeks, give or take a few :)

I am worried about telling people too when we get pregnant again. I mean, I am not looking for a balloon bouquet or a marching band, but I am kind of worried that we will get the "oh are you nervous" responses instead of the "I am so happy for you" ones. But I will take that all in stride, and like my husband says, I think too much and worry, so until I can actually make that announcement I will push that thought from my mind.

Anyway, I am rambling, but I am so happy and excited! I mean, this is what I worked for! I lost 40 lbs for this day to come! Yay!

Oh and another thing. The last cycle I got pregnant, I started a mantra. That may sound wierd, but every morning, I looked into the bathroom mirror and said "This is going to be my month". Yeah, and it was. So even though that could have been a stroke of luck, and I may end up saying F mantras by the next cycle, that is my game plan this month...oh and no temping during the 2ww. Believing in postitive thoughts and not stressing myself out has worked before, lets hope it can work again!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I am a obsessor...

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in 5 days. Not only could I reeeeaaaallly use the sleep, but that way I would stop obsessing over a freaking chart that could no way in hell equal pregnancy. I mean, seriously, the only time we had sex during my "fertile" time was on ovulation, buuuut we used protection! So tell me why in the world am I psyching myself out with phantom symptoms and chart stalking?! I am crazy thats why :) I just wish I could get through a 12 day LP (::crossing fingers::) and move on to the next cycle. The next one we actually get to try!

On another note I started using this cruncher at the gym and my freaking abs are soooo sore this morning! I figured that I would get them in some sort of shape before I get my BFP just so I can get them out of shape during pregnancy. ; ) Its so worth it though in the end.

Anyway, this was just a random post about not a whole lot of anything. I am really tired so I am not even sure it made a lot of sense. lol

Saturday, November 1, 2008

My niece and nephew...

Have got to be the cutest things since baby bottoms! Hayden is front and center for us as Batman, but you can see a bit of the ever precious Bailey in the background. Shes a bumblebee...her nickname has always been Bee. So so so stinking cute!

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