the tears start coming at 2 am every morning...

2 am is my emotional time. the house is quiet, my awesome husband sleeps, and I remember my baby. I feel the need to be strong. I feel the need to make everyone think I am okay. I am not okay.

When the house is quiet, I can think. I don't have the phone calls that ask how I am doing. I don't have the people stopping by to see if I am okay. I just have myself and my emotions. This is the time I cherish. I want to remember my baby...my babies. I loved them, and its hard to let them go.



I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you