Eerie vibe and Superstitions

I have to say I am excited about TTC again. It is fun to look forward to something every month and get a little giddy even if it doesn't work out.

With that being said...I have this really eerie, completely relaxed vibe about me. Its like a "whatever happens will happen" thing. I can honestly say this has not happened to me once since starting TTC. Since cycle one I have been a crazy lady, timing sex, over analyzing symptoms, religiously checking CM in random bathrooms ;)

But this time around, I am cool as a cucumber. DH went out with the boys on Saturday and had a little too much fun, and so he was sleepy last night. When I came home to find him asleep, I was okay with letting him sleep even though it was a "sex" night. He actually ended up waking up, but even if he didn't, I would have been okay with it. I used to be the pouty wife that would moan until he gave in, but this time I was content to let him sleep. That's weird.

So this is where I get all psychological on myself. I really and truly believe the reason this is happening is because I don't want to get my hopes up just to get them dashed. I was so excited last month when we decided that this month would be "The Month". Now, I honestly think my brain and body both are preventing me from heartbreak. I am almost okay with the fact that this could take a while. Its crazy that I am not crazy :) I mean, don't get me wrong, I am really excited, but I guess since it has been about 15 months since we started this journey, I am okay now with not rushing it and letting it happen. Also, I want my next pregnancy to be as stress free as possible and I think that my body is finally on the same page as my brain. They are finally working together...yay!

On a side note, I am a dork and I admit it. I believe in lucky pennies, wishing at 11:11, and the such. The other day I was driving home late from work and I saw a shooting star. I made a wish that God would give us a healthy baby this month. Last night, DH and I bought some scratch off lottery tickets. We got 5 of them, and I had to go into work, so DH scratched off 4 of them and left one for me to do (he always has better luck than me, so I always want him to scratch them off...but I think they are fun so I always do one. We have a bit of a obsession :) Anyway, DH wakes up, we do our "thing", and I go to scratch off my lottery ticket (so romantic I know ;) Well, DH had scratched off all losers, so I yelled jokingly to him that if I scratched off a winner, maybe tonight will be our lucky night. I scratched off 4 out of 5 sections, and thought I lost, until the last one revealed a little reindeer with a $1 prize! Now, I know a buck is not that big of a deal, but to the forever believer of fairy tales, I got a little excited...so, don't dash my hopes yet fate...I like believing in this stuff, okay? :) Lets hope this month is as lucky as it can be!